Ok, so let me welcome you in to a glimpse of a day in my life...
Last Wed. night I was on Praise Team at church. Selah stays at Dad and Mimi's and Carson goes to church (he refuses to stay with Dad and Mimi anymore, which we don't understand, but we think it has to do with the "new dog" in town). Typically he's fine going to his class, but wasn't having any part of it tonite. I told him he'd have to sit very still and not talk (unless spoken to) until I got done singing. He said, "ok, mom I'll be still." I attempted to convince him to sit towards the side of the sanctuary, but he wanted to sit on the front row, directly in front of me (one pew over from Buddy Gray, our pastor).
So, he wiggled and squirmed, which was expected, but was being good. We sang a couple of songs, prayed, sang another song...I looked down at Carson flipping through the hymnal, content and quiet. I was relieved that things were going well.........
Buddy gets up to do the welcome and starts to talk. Suddenly, Carson (still looking down at the hymnal) decides this is the part in the service that his solo debut should be and burst into "A, b, c, d, e, f, g..." in his best singing voice! Oh laudy! (Now remember, I'm on stage in front of everyone, and they can see my every movement and facial expression...)
As I'm beaming death rays through my precious 3 yr old's body, he gets to "l,m,n,o,p..." and Buddy stops talking, turns and looks at Carson with this puzzled look as if he's thinking, "why in the world is this child singing and why is he in church by himself?" I've now switched from sending death rays to Carson to praying to God that Buddy doesn't say anything to Carson because he's sooooo tenderhearted I knew he'd burst into tears. Buddy didn't say anything (Thank God) and Carson finished his song! I guess he finally felt the burn of the death rays, looks up at me and realizes he's done "wrong," hangs his head and mummers, "sorry, mom."
So, we finish singing and I walk off the stage explaining to Carson he better be glad I didn't jump off that stage and bust his butt...later on, I saw the "humor" of it all.
Anyways, the next day I talked to him about it (because I was too angry and tired to talk to him that night) and asked him what made him start singing when he did, even though no one else was singing. He said, "you did, mom." My heart started to melt and ache from thinking back on the pure innocence of his triumpiant singing. I said, "what do you mean, Carson?" He then began to explain to me that I was singing my song and he didn't know my song, so he was singing the song he knows...(and he also noted that he knows all the songs, "Abc's, Bingo was his name, itsy bitsy spider...)
It was in this moment God revealed something truly simple to me...we ALL have different songs of praise we sing to God. They all sound different. Some are more musical than others or may even be unpleasant for human ears. All that has no weight to the idea of praising God in our own unique way! God's ears are pure and holy and hear only the shouts of praise coming from us in a moment of worship. He doesn't get caught up in how we sound, how we look, or what's socially acceptable. His only concern is how the worship sounds to Him and that we are worshipping Him and Him alone!
Carson was simply praising God in the best way he knew how at that moment...even though it was against the norm and socially unacceptable, he felt led to sing out anyways. Sure, he probably doesn't realize any of this "deep thought" stuff, but God used the simple ways of a child, my own blessing of a child, to speak to me in a magnificant and simple manner.
I hope you'll realize what it really means to praise God by this anecdote and instead of seeking out the "bad" in things, to stretch and yearn to see God's blessing in any and all things. Who is God using to try to get through your thick skull today? Are you hearing them and caught up in the things of this world, or are you seeing the chance for an encounter with God and His glory? In the great words of Buddy Gray, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever...in EVERY circumstance and challenge.
Are you striving to be who you want to be, what the world wants you to be, or who God needs you to be?
1 comment:
That is HILARIOUS!!! I could just see it all playing out as I was reading. I know you were so embarassed!!!
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